A Fresh Start
by AimeeDanielle97
Summary: So I love the idea of Elizabeth taking Rachael in, but that would mean something having to happen with Jen that allowed Rachael to stay in Chicago with Elizabeth. This is just an idea I've been toying with. Hope you like it. Btw, I'm new to ER and I apologise in advance for any errors I may make :) Aimée
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone. This is my very first ER fanfic. I've written a few Casualty fics however I've discovered and fallen in love with ER. i watched three seasons in four days when I found it haha. My favourite couple on the show were Dr. Corday and Dr. Greene. I was devastated when Dr. Greene passed away. I also had a soft spot for Rachael, so this is just my little idea for a continuation of Rachael residing with Elizabeth and Ella in Chicago and how it would/could happen. Hope you all enjoy it. Aimée xx**

I drag my feet up the cold sand stone steps to our front door. It's been the most awful day ever. I just can't wait to crash in my room. I turn the key in the lock and go in.

"Huh!" I gasp. The furnitures gone. Its all gone. Nothing in the hall way, or any of the rooms on the bottom floor. I run upstairs, theres nothing there either, except in my bedroom. All of my stuff's still there. I walk over to my bed, theres an envelope on it. I let my school bag slide from my shoulders and thud on to the carpet. The letter is addressed to me so I pick it up and open it. Theres a custody form, a wad of cash and a note. It simply reads,

"This should be enough to last you." There's no explanation. No nothing. I take the custody form in one shaking hand and read it. She's signed it. She's also left the spaces for my next guardian to sign. Whomever that may be. Point is though. She's given me up. She doesn't want me anymore. My breathing quickens. I feel my knees give way from underneath me and I land on the carpet. Tears are cascading down my cheeks. I draw my knees up to my chest and hug them, sobbing uncontrollably.

"She's left me. She doesn't want me." I keep saying over and over and over. I don't know what to do. I have no where to go, its not like my dad is there to take me in. I miss him so much. Thinking about my dad just makes me cry harder. I remember his funeral. It was awful. Saying goodbye. That was what made it awful. Saying goodbye to him, saying goodbye to Ella...

"Ella!" I gasp, and a helpful memory shoots through my mind.

"_Can I still come and visit Ella?" I ask Elizabeth hopefully. She smiles._

_"She's your sister, of course you can."_

"I can go see Ella! I can go to Elizabeth!" I exclaim. I check that I have sufficient funds in the stupid envelope she left me. There seems to be enough. The next step is to pack. I run around my bedroom throwing pieces of clothing into my old case. Before long, its all finished. I slip the cash into my pocket, and the forms into the zip section on the top of the case, then head off. I get a cab to the airport. The journey takes no time at all and before long, I'm standing at the airport, in line to purchase a ticket to Chicago.

"Hi there how can I help you?" The woman asks.

"I need a ticket on the next flight to Chicago please." I say.

"No problem. There's a flight in an hour that you're just in time for. Which class?" She asks, rather skeptically.

"Economy." I reply, she nods.

"Do you mind where you're seated?" I shake my head. "Okay. And how will you be paying for that?"

"Cash please." I remove the wad of cash from my pocket. "How much do you want?" She tally's the total and I pay her. She then hands me my tickets, boarding passes etc etc. Eventually, I find myself standing at the departures gate. I'm nervous. Elizabeth might hate me. I wouldn't be surprised if she did... But she's all I have.

The plane shudders as the wheels make contact with the tarmac.

"This is it." I whisper to myself. I climb off of the air craft and follow the rest of the passengers to the luggage carousel. I find my case quite quickly, however, I stand there and watch it going around the carousel a few times before eventually sighing and pulling it off. I leave the airport and hail a cab. The weather is quite nice at the moment. Its summer here and its fairly warm. Before too long, the cab pulls up in front of Elizabeth's place. My dad's old house. I feel a tear strolling down my cheek, but I wipe it away quickly. I pay the driver and get out of the cab. I drag my feet slowly as I walk up the path to Elizabeth's front door. But I'm hear now, I can't stall forever. So, I let out a long sigh and force myself to knock the door. A moment passes and the door swings open. Elizabeth sees me and gasps.

"H-hi." I stammer.

"Rachael! Wow. Hi. Um... Come in." She says. She's shocked, clearly. But that is understandable. She leads me through to the living room.

"What's brought you hear?" She asks as we sit down.

"Well... I, um. See... Mum, she..." I try to explain, but its no use. I just burst into tears.

"Rachael!" Elizabeth exclaims. I can't exactly leave her in the dark, so I wipe my eyes harshly and attempt to get on with it.

"She left me." I say.

"Who, who left you?" She asks, confusedly.

"Mum. She left the house completely empty. Except my bedroom. She only left my things. There was an envelope with some money and a custody form. She's signed me over, to anyone. She's left me." I explain, hurriedly. My breathing quickens again, I find myself crying harder. I can't stop. I'm hyperventilating, but there's no oxygen getting in.

"Rachael! You need to breath for me sweetheart. Slower. You need to take slow, deep breaths for me. Thats my girl. Deep breaths." Elizabeth says, over and over. Eventually I calm down and look up at her, my eyes are filled with tears. There's a look of both horror and concern on her face. A tear escapes my eye and rolls down my cheek.

"Oh sweetie. Come here" she says, getting up and coming towards me, arms open. I gladly oblige. I get up off of the sofa and just about throw myself at her. She hugs me tight. When someone holds you like that, it feels as though they are holding you together. So you feel safe enough to fall apart. And thats just what I do. I fall to pieces in Elizabeth's arms. I cry hard for a long time over everything thats happened, not just recently, but everything that I've done and gone through from when mum divorced my dad up until now, this very second in Elizabeth's arms. It feels good to genuinely let go of it all for once. All of those emotions that I've been keeping bottled up inside for so long. Elizabeth rubs my back soothingly, and whispers, "Sh, sh, its all going to be all right." In to my hair.


	2. Chapter 2

**So this is the second page, I refuse to call this pathetic filler a chapter. I do hope that someone out there enjoys it hahahaha. Please r&r :) Aimée xx**

so this is the second page, I refuse to call it a chapter haha. Its more a filler than anything. I hope someone out there enjoys it hahahaha please r&r :) Aimée x

We stay there for a while before I eventually let her go.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw this on you. I'm so sorry." I say, Elizabeth shakes her head.

"What on earth are you apologising for? Rachael you can come to me for anything. I'm always here." She says.

"I really appreciate that." I whisper.

"Oh sweetheart. Come on, lets get you settled back in your old room, eh?" She says, I nod. I stand up and pick up my case before following Elizabeth up to my old bedroom. I haven't been in it since dad died. This is going to be really, really hard. Elizabeth pushes the door open and goes in. Nothing's changed. They haven't touched it. I really appreciate that too.

"This is one of the two rooms in the house that Ella isn't allowed in. I didn't want her to ruin, or change, your things."

"Thank you. That was kind." I say, she smiles.

"Well, you were going to come back and visit one day. I knew that. So why would I change your stuff?" She says, matter-of-factly.

"Good point." I throw my case on to the bed. "I wanted to come back and visit Ella before. She wouldn't let me. It sucked, and to be perfectly honest, I really missed you." I say, and start crying again. "Elizabeth, I'm really sorry for everything I did when I stayed here the last time. I have nightmares about what happened all of the time. I was so stupid... I hate myself for it all of the time. I'll never make that up to you, I know that, I'm so sorry though." I stammer.

"Hey, hey, hey. Rachael listen. What happened, happened. Its done. Of course I was angry at the time but we've moved passed that. Ella isn't suffering any lasting damage. I've forgiven you for all of that. Okay. I don't want to hear that you're upset about that, all right. Its okay." She says softly, taking me in her arms, again.

"I know that, but it will never be okay." I say, and begin sobbing into her chest. I'm gripping the back of her shirt so tightly my knuckles are completely white.

"Rachael darling calm down. It is okay. I'm only too well aware you didn't feed Ella those drugs deliberately and both Mark and I forgave you for bringing them into our home. It is okay now. Lets not dwell on the past eh?" She says, rubbing my back soothingly, again. I nod against her shoulder.

"Okay." I let go of Elizabeth's blouse and sit on the edge of my bed.

"Where is Ella?" I ask.

"She slept over at Susan's last night. She won't be back until lunch time." Elizabeth says.

"Oh. I've missed her so much."

"I know sweetie." She says. I smile.

"I wasn't lying you know, I really did miss you. I wanted to come visit so that I could see you and Ella. I missed you." I say, allowing even more tears to flow freely down my cheeks. Elizabeth smiles, her eyes begin to glisten over too.

"I know. I've missed you too. I'm so glad you've come to me with this." She says, I nod.

"You were the first one I thought of. When my mum abandoned me, I just wanted you to be there telling me it would all be okay. I know thats silly, selfish even. But you were so good to me, even after everything that happened with Ella. I couldn't ever quite believe how nice you were. You actually made me feel good about myself. I wasn't used to that. I missed you." I stammer, and let out a sob.

"Oh sweetie. Of course I was good to you! You mean a great deal to me. Now I know Mark has... Has passed on, but you're still my step daughter! You're welcome here every day of the week and twice on a Sunday!" I giggle slightly at her terminology. "Now I want you to stop feeling guilty about what has happened in the past. Okay? You're welcome to stay here with me. I'll sign you into my care if you want, too, if you'll have me. You can stay with Ella and I, here in Chicago. But its your choice sweetheart." I look into her tear filled eyes and smile through my own tears.

"I'd really like that." I say.


	3. Chapter 3

_"No! Get away from me! Leave me alone! No! Aaaarrrghh!"_

I wake up drenched in sweat. I've been screaming. My face is soaking wet with tears. I sit up in the bed, my body shaking and shuddering with sobs. I cover my face with my hands and cry into them, hard. Suddenly, my bedroom door flies open and Elizabeth runs in. Her face covered with worry.

"Rachel!" She shouts. "What is it? Are you okay? What happened?" She shouts, still worried. I wave a hand to try and show her its okay.

"It doesn't matter. Bad dream... Please... don't waste your sleep in here... Don't lose sleep over me its fine." I stammer between sobs.

"Rachel, that must have been some dream. You've screamed the house down. It wasn't nothing." She says, sitting down next to me. She places a hand on my back and begins to rub it soothingly. Despite my thoughts screaming at me that I shouldn't, I lean into her and place my head on her shoulder.

"Sweetie what was it? What did you dream about? Hmm? You can tell me anything." She whispers.

"Elizabeth, I trust you so much. I'd trust you with my life. But, I'm sorry, I can't tell you about this. I can't tell anyone." I say. I'm petrified she'll find out the truth, if that happens, I'd end up having to face it all again. I can't do that. I'm not ready.

"Sweetheart. You can trust me. You can tell me anything. Please, I'm so worried about you. Please just tell me what the matter is?" She says softly, stroking my hair.

"I want to tell you, I just can't." I say, sniffling slightly.

"Why sweetie? Why can't you tell me?" She asks softly.

"Because telling you... It would mean... I..." I can't breath anymore. I'm hyperventilating. I don't have enough oxygen. My hands and feet begin to tingle. Stars appear on my vision.

"Rachel! Rachel calm down. Breathe sweetheart! Take deep breaths for me sweetie!" Elizabeth shouts. But I can't do it. Its getting worse. Then, suddenly, the world goes black

I peel my eyes apart and find I'm staring up at the pristine white ceiling of the cubicles at County.

"Thank God!" I hear Elizabeth say. I can hear Ella crying too.

"Rachel, can you tell me what day it is?" Abby asks me.

"Um... Its... Friday?" I stammer.

"Yeah. Good girl." I nod slightly. The doctors then go off into a spiel of 'doctor speak' so I stop listening. Ella is still crying. Elizabeth is trying desperately to calm her.

"Elizabeth?"

"Yes sweetie?" She answers.

"You can take her home. You don't need to wait with me. Take Ella home and the two of you can get some sleep." I say.

"Rachel I'm not going to leave you here. I wouldn't leave Ella and I'm not leaving you. Okay?" She replies.

"But Ella... It isn't fair on her, she's exhausted. I'm keeping her up. If you take her home she can sleep." I say.

"Rachel, I'm staying with you. That's final. Ella can manage a bad nights sleep for one night. She'll survive. Besides, as soon as Susan is finished with her patient she's going to come and take her off of my hands. Free me up to concentrate on you. All right?" She smiles.

"Okay." I sigh slightly.

"What is it sweetie?" Elizabeth says.

"I can't figure it out." I tell her.

"Can't figure what out?"

"Why you bother with me. I can't figure out why you care. I mean, of course I really, really appreciate it, but I've done nothing to deserve it. Nothing." I say.

"Rachel. You have got to stop thinking like this. You're a member of my family. Of course I care. Wether you think you deserve it or not, I'm here for you. And I'll always be right here. I promise you that."

"Okay." I whisper. "Did I faint?" I ask her, quietly.

"Yes sweetheart."

"I'm so sorry." I say, feeling my eyes welling up with tears.

"Oh don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. These things can happen."

"Yeah, I suppose. I'm sorry I woke you and Ella up. I am really sorry."

"Rachel its completely fine. Relax."

"I know, I know. Sorry."

"Its fine." In that moment, Susan comes and takes Ella. She takes her to the staff room so she can get a rest. Elizabeth walks over to me. In the same moment, Abby and Luka leave my cubicle and draw the curtain shut.

"Now," Elizabeth says. "Are you ready to tell me what that nightmare was about?" She says.

"Elizabeth, I want to tell you, but I really can't. You'll tell. You won't understand. I'm sorry but I can't risk that." I say.

"Rachel I'm not going to tell anyone. I promise you." She says.

"You say that now..." I begin, but she cuts me off.

"No, I give you my word I won't tell a soul."

"You really mean that?" I ask, a tone of caution clear in my voice.

"I really mean that." So I sigh.

"It was my step dad." She looks confused. "Mum's new husband. He was in my nightmare."

"Why was he in a nightmare Rachel, what happened?"

"He, um... Well, he had a small problem... With me. I'm not sure why. He said I needed to be punished. I'm not sure what for. But he saw to it that I was punished. Regularly." A look of horror crosses Elizabeth's face.

"Rachel, did he hurt you?" She asks. I can hardly speak, so I just nod my head. "How? Sweetheart how, what did he do?" I gulp.

"He... Um... He had this belt that he used to wear. He used it... On me." She gasps. I am really struggling now. So I turn around and pull my gown up, revealing my back to Elizabeth. Its covered in scars and healing cuts, all from large gashes and gouges created from the buckle colliding with my skin at high speed. I turn back around to face her. She's covering her mouth with a shaking hand.

"Does your mother know about this?" She says, her tone filled with horror, anger and disgust.

"No. She doesn't. She can't ever find out either. He said if I told anyone, he'd make sure they would never tell. As in he'd silence them." Elizabeth caught on very quickly.

"Is this all that he did to you?" She asks. I can't answer her question. I can't even meet her gaze. "Rachel, what else has that monster done?" She asks firmly.

"He took it. He took it from me." I stammer, beginning to cry.

"He took what?" Elizabeth asks, extremely slowly. My voice has gone. I can barely choke the next words out.

"My virginity." I whisper, so quietly, that I wonder if she even heard. I look up into her eyes. She heard all right. She's mad. Really mad. The kind of mad that hits you in the face so hard it leaves you shaking. Her eyes are blazing with it, her lips trembling.

"I'll kill him." She says.

"Elizabeth! No! You can't! You promised!" I start shouting. My breathing quickens again, the machines start beeping. Abby and Luka run back into my cubicle. Abby puts an oxygen mask on me. They keep telling me to breath. It takes a while, but I get it under control again.

"Rachel I'm sorry. I won't. I won't tell okay? Relax. I'm sorry." Elizabeth says, hugging me. I cry hard against her shoulder for a while before eventually letting her go.

"I just want to forget about it. I think thats the best option for me. Please Elizabeth, will you please just help me forget? Move on? Please?" I beg her.

"Of course I'll help you. I'll be here every step of the way Rachel. Now, try and get some sleep sweetie, okay? I'll be here when you wake up."

"Okay." I say. I place my head back upon the pillow and roll on to my side, so that I'm facing Elizabeth. I fall asleep peacefully to her stroking my hair.

"Rachel, Rachel. Darling wake up." I hear. I can feel someone shaking me gently too. I open my eyes to find Elizabeth smiling down at me. Despite the loving smile, she looks exhausted. "Come on sweetie, they've discharged you. We can go home now." She says.

"Oh okay. Cool." I sit up and rub my eyes before throwing the blanket off and swinging my legs round to hop out of the bed.

"Wait, shoes first. Never touch a hospital floor Rachel." Elizabeth says. I smile at her. That was so typical. Either way, I slip my shoes onto my feet and hop of the bed. "Remember and take it slowly too. I really don't want you fainting again." She says, this time I giggle.

"You're paranoid." I say in a mocking voice.

"I am not!" She says indignantly, laughing. "Come on then munchkin, lets get home." She takes my hand, a gesture which surprises me, and leads me out of the hospital.

We get home and I discover that Susan had brought Ella home much at some point last night, and spent the remaining few hours of the night on the sofa. She woke up as Elizabeth and I entered the living room.

"Hello Susan. Thank you so much for doing all of that for me last night." Elizabeth says. Susan smiles warmly.

"It was no trouble Elizabeth, any time. Right, I'm going to head off. See you soon. Bye Rachel, get some rest sweet." She says.

"See you Susan." Elizabeth replies.

"Bye." I shout as she leaves the house.

"Right, Rachel, sit down on the sofa. I'm just going to go check on Ella then I'll make us a pot of tea. All right?"

"Thats really sweet of you Elizabeth. You don't have to worry about me you know. You certainly don't have to go to all of this trouble for me." I tell her.

"Rachel, what've I told you. You're a member of my family. It's my duty to worry about you and to go to trouble for you." She says in reply. She places a hand on my cheek. "You mean just as much to me as Ella. You're both Mark's daughters, therefore, you're both my daughters. Believe it or not I love you both." She says. A tear escapes my eye.

"I love you too Elizabeth. Man I've wanted to say that for ages but I didn't know if you'd want me to be close to you like that. I thought you'd want to reserve that for Ella." I explain, embarrassed.

"Of course not! Rachel, if theres one thing I do know, its that love is infinite. You can make more whenever you need it. If I want to give you some, it doesn't mean I'm taking any away from Ella. I love you Rachel. I love you like you're my own daughter. In my eyes, you are. Okay. So stop worrying." She kisses my forehead and leaves to go check on Ella.


	4. Chapter 4

"Rachel, Ella!" I hear Elizabeth shout from the dining room.

"Come on Ella, I think dinner is ready." I say to her as I pick her up off of the floor.

"Yay! I'm soooo hungry!" She says, making me laugh.

"I know, come on." I walk into the dining room and put Ella down in her chair.

"Thanks for doing that for me Rachel." Elizabeth says, as she finishes setting the table.

"Thats no problem." I reply. Elizabeth finishes and we all sit down to dinner. "How was work today?" I ask her.

"Busy. Thats nothing new though." She says. "How was your day?" She asks in return.

"It was good. Thank you." She smiles at me.

"Listen Rachel, I was thinking, we need to get you enrolled in school here." She says.

"I know. Can I ask you something?" I say.

"Of course you can."

"Um, please, can you make sure that I don't go to the same school I was at last time. I don't want to end up involved with that same crowd again... " I stammer, embarrassed.

"Thats very wise of you Rachel. Relax, I'll make sure that doesn't happen okay sweetie?" She answers. I heave a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Elizabeth." I say. We all finish the rest of our dinners peacefully.

"Mummy, can we watch a movie together?" Ella asks Elizabeth as she finishes loading the dishwasher.

"Well, seeing as its Saturday, yes. Yes we can. Why don't you go with Rachel and choose a film eh?" Elizabeth replies cheerily.

"Yay! Okay Mummy! Come on Rach! Lets go choose a movie!" She squeals excitedly.

"Okay Ella, you lead the way!" I reply.

We ended up spending the night watching "Barbie Fairytopia", but it wasn't bad. In fact, it has been so nice spending the time together as a family. However messed up and crazy our family is, we're a family all the same.

I wake up peacefully the next morning to the sweet smell of freshly made pancakes coming from the kitchen. I love pancakes, so I kick the quilt off of my legs and head, eagerly, downstairs.

"Good morning Rach! Mummy made us pancakes!" Ella exclaims as I enter the kitchen.

"Did she? Thats fabulous!" I reply, in an over exaggerated tone. I start tickling Ella and she squeals in delight, leaving her, Elizabeth and I in fits of laughter.

"Come on you two, eat up and enjoy." Elizabeth says, placing a large plate full of pancakes down in the centre of the table before joining Ella and I at the table. We all dig in happily.

"Now Ella, Aunty Carol has asked if she can take you out for the day. She's taking the girls to the Zoo and she wants you to go with them. How would you feel about spending the day at the Zoo?" Elizabeth asks Ella.

"Really Mummy! I'd love it! Can I please go? Please!" Ella begs.

"Yes sweetie. You can go." I smile at them. "That frees the day up for me so I can spend more time with you Rachel. How would you feel about that?" Elizabeth asks me. "Its totally fine if you want to spend the day on your own." She adds cautiously.

"I'd love to spend the day with you. Thank you Elizabeth." I smile warmly at her, a gesture which she gladly returns.

"Okay."

"Ella have you got your coat?" Elizabeth asks.

"Yes Mummy. I'm wearing it already." Ella replies happily.

"Oh right, yes. Sorry I forgot. Okay. Carol will be here any second, I'm sure,I've packed everything you will need. Um..." But the door bell rings before she can go on.

"I'll get it." I say, trying to relieve the atmosphere even slightly. I answer the door and greet Doug and Carol before leading them into the living room.

"Hi Aunty Carol!" Ella exclaims, bouncing over to give Carol a hug.

"Hello Ella sweetie! Ready to go?" She asks.

"Yes!" She squeals in excitement.

"Thank you so much for doing this." Elizabeth says to Carol.

"Its no problem. But the girls are in the car so we really must head. See you later." Carol says. Elizabeth bends down and gives Ella a large cuddle and kisses her head.

"See you later sweetie, be good for Aunty Carol and Uncle Doug." She says.

"Okay mummy. Bye by!"

Before long, its just Elizabeth and I standing in the living room. She smiles at me, so I smile back.

"What shall we get up to then?" Elizabeth asks.

"I don't know. You decide." I say to her.

"Well sweetie, it is your day with me. We can do anything you like." She says. I ponder this for a while, and then, nervously, take a quick breath.

"Could we maybe have a girls day?" I stammer, biting my lip.

"Of course we can. Shall we have our nails done?" She suggests.

"That sounds perfect." So we get our things together and head out into the car to head to the nail salon. When we arrive, Elizabeth opts for a french manicure, I, however, choose the brightest shade of lime green that I can possibly find. Elizabeth chuckles at the outrageous colour.

"We'll be seeing you coming a mile off with that on." She says, smiling. We're seated next to one another whilst they paint our nails. Then we move off to the uv lights, again, right next to one another. In that moment, I decide to take a huge risk. I lean over and rest my head on Elizabeth's shoulder. I'm not sure how she'll react. To my complete surprise, she kisses my head and soothingly leans her head on top of mine.

"I know I'm not yours. I also know that, after everything I've done, you actually should hate me... But I love you Elizabeth." I tell her.

"Sh sweetie. Never mind all that. I love you too." She whispers in response. A single tear escapes my eye and rolls down my cheek, I just let it roll though, my nails are still wet and I can't wipe it away. Before long, Elizabeth is paying the lady who painted our nails for us.

"How about some lunch?" She says, turning round to face me.

"Sounds good to me." I reply.

We ate Nando's for lunch and picked up some popcorn en route home for a movie day.

"Why don't you go put the film in the machine, I'll sort the popcorn?" She says.

"Good plan, see you in a bit." I go through into the home theatre and put the movie in the machine. Just as the disc reaches the menu, Elizabeth joins me on the couch, placing a large bowl of popcorn between us. I grin at her. Its been such a great day. We finish the popcorn quickly and Elizabeth puts the bowl on the coffee table. She surprises me then by putting her arm around my shoulders and kissing my head quickly. So I lean over and snuggle into her, which I'm sure surprised her, nonetheless, she rubs my head soothingly. I feel so happy just sitting here with her. The only thing that could possibly make this better would be if dad was here.


	5. Chapter 5

Its been a couple of months, now, since I first showed up on Elizabeth's doorstep. Its gone so well. I still have nightmares a lot, but I'm getting better at waking up without screaming, meaning, without waking Elizabeth and/or Ella. Elizabeth thinks they're stopping. Ella thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. I feel immense guilt sometimes, everything that happened with those drugs, its never going to go away. Ella doesn't remember, and Elizabeth says she's forgiven me, but how do you forgive and forget someone almost killing your baby? That will never be okay. Not with me and, truthfully, it won't be okay for Elizabeth either, I know that, so I don't know why she keeps trying to hide it.

"Rachel?" Elizabeth calls from the living room.

"Yeah?" I shout back as I walk through to her.

"I've got something I need to do quickly at work. It won't take long, would you mind coming in with me?" She asks.

"Of course not. Thats no problem at all." I tell her. So I follow her out of the house and into the car. Ella's at daycare today, getting into the car without her is exceptionally easy compared to getting into the car with her. It makes me smile. Elizabeth drives into County and we park in the staff car park.

"Where would you like me to stay while you do your stuff?" I ask her.

"Um, you can stay in my office upstairs or in the staff room in the ER. Its totally up to you." She says.

"Well would you like me to stay with you in your office or would you like me out of your hair for a while?" I ask her.

"Rachel, you're not in my hair. As in, you're nor a burden and you can sit with me in my office if you'd like." She says, as we get out of the car and walk towards the hospital.

"Okay." I reply. The staff greet us as we enter the ER via the ambulance bay, however, Elizabeth manages to both greet them back and swat them off simultaneously, moving swiftly towards her office upstairs. Its impressive.

"Sorry there isn't much room up here. Actually, its a surprise I manage to fit that extra chair." She says. "But, thats what happens when you work yourself up into a paperwork overload I'm afraid." I smile at her.

"Thats okay, clutter is healthy." I reply, laughing.

"Hmm, well that explains your bedroom." She says, laughing at her own sarcasm.

"Hey! I know where everything is in that room!" I laugh indignantly.

"I'm sure you do! Now, where did I put that file?" She says, rummaging helplessly through the piles of paperwork. "Ah, right. Time to get down to business." I take her polite comment as a cue to shut up. I sit and watch, mesmerised as Elizabeth finishes a folder full of paperwork in 25 minutes.

"I'm so sorry Rachel, that took longer than expected." She said. I just stare at her, quite baffled. "What?" She asks, innocently.

"Sorry, just, longer than expected? That looked like it should have taken hours." I say, making Elizabeth laugh.

"Rubbish, I'm good at paperwork."

"Evidently." She laughs.

"Come on then sweetie. Lets get off home eh?"

"Sure thing." I reply.

"Rachel, I'm going to start the dinner okay? I shouldn't be long. Then I'll need to go pick up Ella so you'll need to come with me all right?"

"Sure Elizabeth." I reply as we enter the house. Elizabeth heads on through to the kitchen so I run up to my room, flop down on my bed and pull my diary out from underneath my pillow. In this book, I've recorded all of my nightmares, written about everything thats happened over the past couple of years, everything that's scared me, hurt me, made me happy, made me laugh or made me cry. Elizabeth doesn't know about it yet. I don't intend to let her find out either. Either way, I begin to write:

_Well. I can't quite believe what a journey its been even now. Mom's been so amazing. She's so great with Ella and I. I feel like the luckiest girl alive. I still know that she definitely didn't need to take me in. I mean, birth-mom should never have done what she did. And I'm not Mom's responsibility. I'm just her dead husband's daughter. But she doesn't seem to care. Last night I had a nightmare that birth-mom's awful husband was chasing me with his belt. I woke up crying, however, I successfully managed not to scream again. Getting proud of that ability. I'm sure the nightmare's will stop eventually. And I'll forget what it was like to be that scared. How it felt to retreat into myself and wish for nothing more than it to be over. Pleading, no, begging him to stop. Maybe one day I'l forget. One thing I know for sure though, is that will never forget how much I miss my dad. Never. _

_Anyway, Mom's calling on me now. We're going to pick Ella up from Daycare. I made her cupcakes today and I can't wait to give them to her. So goodbye. Until next time. _

**Elizabeth's P.O.V**

I've left Rachel with Ella in the living room watching Barbie and the Three Musketeers as I head upstairs to finish putting away the washing. Its all folded, its just such a pain actually putting it away. I sort through Ella and I's and move on to Rachel's, however, as I place the bundle of clothes down on her bed, I notice the corner of a book poking out from underneath her pillow. Curious, I pull it out and begin to inspect it. The word's "Rachel's Diary" are scrawled messily on the front in permanent marker. I know I shouldn't, but I worry so much about what goes on inside her head... So I let curiosity get the better of me and open it to a random page and read.

_Mom took us shopping today. Both Ella and I had the best time. She let us play with the toys in the toy isle, well, she let me watch Ella play with them, whilst she did the food shopping. Then she let both of us pick a new DVD each. After that, we went home. I made chocolate cake with Mom and Ella. I can'r remember ever feeling happier._

I turn the page.

_Its 1:47am. I've woken up crying. Again. It was awful. One minute Birth-Mom's creep husband was chasing me with his belt, the next I was standing alone in the house. But then the house started growing taller. It felt like the walls were laughing at me. I tried to run out of the house, I ran as fast as I could, but no matter how fast I ran I couldn't get away. I could see Mom and Ella on the other side of the street through the door. But I couldn't get to them because I couldn't run fast enough. Then the voice started. I don't know who's voice it was. It just kept saying I didn't deserve Mom and Ella. That. I wasn't their family and that they didn't need to bother with me. I woke up panting and crying. Thankfully though, I never woke Mom or Ella. I just needed to tell someone._

I feel tears welling in my eyes, I mean, one, she's been calling me Mum, and two, she's been dealing with all of this, still, but on her own this time. How could I have missed that? I read on.

_Well I'll admit, I never thought I could feel this happy. I have the best family in the whole world. Mom, Ella and I. It's so perfect. I couldn't be happier. I mean, I could be, but Dad would need to be here, and thats not going to happen. But I've stopped self harming! Thats good news. Still have the occasional, nightmare-induced panic attack. But as long as I don't wake/bother Mom with that then I'm fine with it. I'm so glad I've got Mom. I love her so much. And Ella. They mean the world to me and more. Mom did not need to care. She didn't need to take me in. I'm not hers. Now Dad's gone, I'm, technically, nothing to do with her. But she didn't care. She took me in anyway. I didn't deserve that. I don't deserve her. Especially after everything that happened. But I'm so, so, so glad she set that aside and took me in, because I love her and she and Ella make me so happy. Look at that, I'm a changed woman! _

The tears are now flowing freely down my face. I can't believe this. I feel a rush of emotions, but I'm not sure what emotions they are. I know I'm happy, and my heart is warmed with Rachel's use of the word 'Mum', and everything she said about Ella and I, and our family. I'm saddened that she still worries she's a burden. Surprised to find out her nightmares are still common occurrences, and that she's been deliberately attempting to bottle it all up and hide them to avoid bothering me. Because its not a bother. It never was! I just want to help her. Rachel means just as much to me as Ella. I am proud of her. I'm proud of my two daughters, their coping with the loss of their father, and the progress both of them have made in their life.

"Elizabeth Ella wants..." I hear as Rachel's bedroom door swings open. I look up to meet Rachel's horror struck face.

"Rachel..." I start but she cuts me off.

"You were never meant to find that." She says, almost apologetically.

"I know, I..." I sigh. "Rachel its okay." I begin. She has tears in her eyes.

"Its not okay. I'm sorry." she says, running back down the hall to the stairs. I drop the book on her bed and go after her, following her into the, living room. She sets Ella down to watch her programs, grabs a baby monitor and heads through to the kitchen. So I follow her again.

"Rachel its okay." I say again.

"But its not. I'm so sorry. I should never have let you find that... I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry about all the stuff thats still happening. I'm sorry about the self harm. Sorry about calling you Mom..." She rambles all in one breath. I put my hands up to her soothingly.

"Rachel calm down." I tell her. "Its all okay. You don't need to be sorry. I mean, I wish you'd told me about everything thats still been happening. I could of helped you... But I'm not angry." I say.

"I know, but. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to take you away from Ella." She stammers.

"Rachel what have I told you about that. You're not taking me away from Ella! I'm capable of loving both of you equally!" I reply.

"Thats just it! You shouldn't have to love us both equally because we're not equal. Ella is your daughter. I'm not."

"Rachel. Its not about having to love you equally. I choose to! I choose you both as my daughters. Equally! I don't want you to feel like I've done it because I had to! I never had to. I wanted to sweetheart." I say, letting a tear roll down my cheeks.

"You-youre sure?" She asks, extremely nervously.

"Of course I'm sure sweetheart. I love you okay!" I say. She throws herself into my arms and breaks down into tears. "Oh Rachel." I sigh. "Now what is this about self harm?" I ask her gently.

"Oh... I... Uh. It. I was angry, and upset. I didn't want to bother you."

"Oh sweetie. You can bother me left right and centre. Bother me every day of the week and twice on a Sunday. But please, please don't let me think for a minute that you're deliberately hurting yourself to avoid bothering me okay!" She nods.

"Okay.

"One more thing." I say, as she begins to go back through to Ella.

"Yeah?"

"Don't apologise for calling me Mum. You can call me whatever you like. If you want to call me Mum, go ahead all right?" She smiles brightly.

"Okay Mom." My heart warms.

"Right, on you go so. I get the dinner started." I tell her, she smiles and nods and heads back through to the living room.


	6. Chapter 6

**hey everyone. Not sure if this story is worht anything to anyone but I'm gonna continue to update it anyway. This is a bit of a dramatic chapter. Please bare with me haha. I know the way I've written isn't exactly how Elizabeth's personality is. Her and Rachel did not get along. I know that. But I wanted them to, and this is a fanFICTION so thats how I'm writing it. I hope someone enjoys it.**

Rachel's P.O.V

"Mom! I can't find Ella's shoes!" I shout downstairs.

"They're in the cupboard on the rack Rachel I'm sure I put them there!" Elizabeth shouts back. Okay. I open the wardrobe and rummage around at the bottom. Turns out, they'd slipped off of the rack. I put them on Ella's feet, pick her up and hurry downstairs.

"Ready to go?" Elizabeth asks. I nod. "Finally. Right, lets get out of here." She says, exacerbated. Understandably so, though. We're late for the daycare/school/hospital run again. I'll get in trouble from the teachers and she'll get it in the neck from Romano. Again. Elizabeth worries about it all of the time. I can tell, but she'll never actually say it. She has a thing with admitting she needs help, but she does, we do. I try my best to help her, but its not always good enough. Either way we all pile into the car and head off. At the daycare centre, I wait in the car whilst Elizabeth runs in with Ella, then Elizabeth drops me at school and I wave as she heads off. I have a scribbled note in my hand for any teacher that dares to ask why I'm late, again. As I walk in through the main reception, Mrs Williams raises her eyebrows at me and pushes her glasses back up her nose.

"Late again Miss Greene?" She asks. I wince at the use of my dad's name. I'm proud to be his daughter, a Greene, but it hurts to hear it.

"How many times do I have to tell you its Corday!" I say. "And yes, I am late. I live with my Mom and my sister, who's three. Mom's a surgeon, Ella is hyper. Getting everywhere we need to be without dad there to help us is just too hard sometimes Miss. Here's a note from Mom." I say, handing it to her.

"Rachel I'm aware of your situation at home. Please just make more effort in the future." She says, handing me a late slip for class.

"Yes Miss." I tell her, and continue on up to my classroom on the third floor.

The first half of the day was incredibly dull and boring. So boring that it doesn't even bare thinking about. Now I'm stuck in math class with Mr. Malone and its gone from bad to worth. Despite the obvious lack of attention from the students, he continues rambling on about triangles.

"...square root of side a plus the square root of side b equals c. This is pythagorus' theorem in actio..." But he doesn't get a chance to finish that sentence because the door to the class room flies open.

"Right! I want everyone on the floor at the front of the room. Hands where I can see them!" The man shouts, pointing the gun at us. Suddenly, everyone screams and runs to the front of the class room. My stomach twists. I know who he is! "Not you Rachel." He states. I gulp and stand. "You're coming with me. You cooperate, and no one gets hurt." I don't know what to do! I don't want to go with him. But I don't want him to hurt any if my class mates. I feel tears streaming down my face. Despite everything, the gun, the threats, everything, I shake my head.

"I won't go with you!" I shout, petrified.

"Oh yes you will, if you don't, I'll shoot you. Its as simple as that." He spits. Still, I shake my head. "Suit yourself." He says and pulls the trigger. I hear the bang and then nothing. I slide to the floor, clutching my stomach in agony. I can feel the blood flowing from beneath my fingers. I'm petrified.

I find myself lying on the classroom floor. Mr. Malone and the headmistress, Mrs. Mathison, kneeling over me. I can't move for the pain in my stomach. My head is swimming. I lift my hand up to my head to try and hold it still. I can hardly stand it. The smell of blood, the bang, the shooter. Him, my step dad. Tears flow freely down my face.

"Rachel! You need to stay calm. Don't move darling." Mrs. Mathison says.

"H-have you called the paramedics?" I stammer.

"Yes. They're on their way over with Chicago PD." I nod, then wince because it hurts. I move my hand to my back pocket and attempt to manoeuvre my torso so that I can get my phone out of my pocket. I manage to get the phone but I cry out in pain as the movement stretches the wound on my stomach.

"Rachel don't move!" Mr. Malone says.

"S-sorry. N-need to phone M-mom." I stammer, speed dialling County.

"Hello, County General Emergency Room?" Frank answers.

"F-Frank. I-its Rachel. Put me th-through to surgery p-please." I say.

"Of course." I hear the music through the receiver, indicating he's forwarded the call.

"Romano." Romano answers.

"Romano, its R-Rachel. N-need Elizabeth." I stammer.

"Rachel what's wrong?" He asks, worriedly.

"I... I got shot. I want Mom!" I just about shout down the phone.

"Oh My God! Okay, I'll get her. Get someone to put pressure on it. Are the paramedics on their way?" He asks me.

"Yes." The line goes silent for a while as he finds Elizabeth.

"Okay, here's Lizzie. He says.

"Rachel? Whats happened?" She asks, the concern ringing clear through her tone.

"Mom! It was him! H-he came to s-school!" I cry down the phone. Mrs. Mathison is rubbing my hair trying to calm me.

"Who? Who came?"

"My Step D-Dad! H-He shot me!"

"What! Rachel where? How bad is it? How much blood is there? Let me speak to a teacher!" She rambles, all in a panic. I hand Mr. Malone the phone.

"Mrs. Greene..." He starts. "Sorry, Corday, yes." I smile a little, knowing she's corrected him. "She was shot yes... bullet hit her stomach... No, she wasn't unconscious at all... There's a lot of blood but it isn't spurting no... No I don't think it hit any major arteries... Mrs Mathison is applyong pressure yes... Okay..." I hear him saying. But he's slipping way. My vision is getting blurry and everything is beginning to sound muffled. "No! Rachel stay with us!" He shouts, but its too late, everything just turns black.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone :) hope this update is up to standards, especially after the really greet Review I've gotten ! Thank you so much :) so here goes nothing. Tried not to focus on the medical side of things here because I really didn't want to stuff up the procedures and things. Anyway, enjoy :)**

**Elizabeth's P.O.V.**

I feel like everything has just gone into slow motion. Waiting on the ambulance bringing Rachel in is just about killing me. I'm sitting in the lounge. Jing Mei is with me. Weaver's declared I'm to wait here and they'll tell me when Rachel's brought in. They won't let me treat her. Apparently its too risky. I suppose they're right, I'm a nervous wreck! But she's my daughter. I should be allowed to treat her. Jing Mei's been sent in here to baby sit me. Its a bit ridiculous actually. Suddenly the door swings open and Abbey bursts into the room.

"Dr. Corday she's here." She says, and darts back out of the room. I follow her out of the room and down to Trauma one. As I enter the room, I feel numb. This just can't be happening. I'm forced to just stand there and watch while Weaver and Carter treat her. There's blood everywhere. I'm used to the sight of blood, I'm a surgeon for goodness sake, but this is different. This time its family, and the familiar sight makes me ill. I zone out standing there, not hearing all of the medical jargon thats being fired around the room. I stand there watching, for what seems like an eternity, as my colleagues stabilise my daughter. But its not over hear. As quickly as they're finished here, they have her rushed upstairs to surgery for even more medical intervention. Its entirely surreal. I can't bare it. Its taking every ounce of my being to hold myself upright. Maybe Weaver was right, I don't think I could operate like this, the state I'm in. Its awful. On top of that, its bringing back horrific memories from the last time one of my daughters was in here. Dear God I need help... I need Mark.

**Rachel's P.O.V**

I open my eyes to find myself lying on a hospital bed in County General, however, I'm not in the ER. To the right of the bed, Elizabeth is sitting sleeping in a hospital chair, her head dangling in what's most likely the worst possible way for her neck.

"Mom?" I say, weakly. I want to speak out properly but clearly my voice has other ideas. After a moment, I notice that she's actually fallen asleep holding my hand, so I start to shake it, I need her to wake up.

"Mom?" I ask again, still shaking her hand. Her eyes spring open and she springs up in a second.

"Yes, yes? What is it? What's wrong?" She asks, panicked.

"Nothing, just thought you should know I'm awake." I tell her. Realisation crosses her features.

"Oh yes! Rachel, how are you feeling sweetheart?"

"I'm sore but its fine. Completely manageable." I say. Elizabeth smiles.

"Thats good to hear. You're due for more painkillers in about ten minutes anyway." She says softly.

"Thats good. Where's Ella?" I ask.

"She's asleep in the staff room downstairs. Haleh's looking after her."

"Oh. What time is it?" I ask her.

"Almost 6." I nod. Lying down flat is totally weird so I manoeuvre the pillows around a bit (with Elizabeth's help) and prop myself up in the bed a bit.

"What happened to him?" I ask. For a moment, I see confusion spread accross Elizabeth's face, but she understands quickly and takes a breath.

"Well, they've got him in a holding cell. He didn't make it very far. The police received a call saying he'd gotten on the El, they were at the next stop waiting on it, and they managed to get on and get him." She said.

"Oh."

"Are you hungry?" She asks.

"A bit."

"I'll go get you some food. I'll be right back okay?"

"Okay."

Five days have passed since the incident. I'm sitting at home in the living room eating tomato soup with Elizabeth. Ella is playing with her dolls and her tea set on the floor whilst Elizabeth and I have_ Coronation Street_ on on the TV. To be perfectly honest with you, I have no interest in the show at all. Mostly because I don't know the storyline, the characters, the plot, or well, anything about it, and so far its been made up of tears, tantrums and misery. Elizabeth seems to enjoy it though, she says she's always watched it, so I really don't mind sitting here pretending to like it. I guess it means getting to spend time with her. My step dad is in prison. There's a trial next week that I have to go and speak at. Thats going to be hellish. I'm going to have to tell everyone what he's done. Not just regarding the shooting, but about everything else as well. I'm scared stiff. However, Elizabeth said she'll be there with me every step of the way, so I'm sure I'll survive. The phone starts ringing, so Elizabeth gets up to go and answer it.

"Are you having fun down there?" I say to Ella. She looks up at me, her eyes beaming.

"Yes Rach! You want a cup of tea?" She replies.

"I would love a cup of tea." I say. So she picks up her little china tea pot and pretends to pour a cup of tea. She then hands me the tiny cup and saucer and I pretend to drink it. "Mmm Ella that was fabulous! You make amazing tea!" I exclaim in an over exaggerated tone.

"Its to make you feel better!" She squeals.

"Well, I feel absolutely fantastic! Thank you very much nurse Ella!" She giggles. Elizabeth comes back into the living room carrying the phone.

"Rachel, I have to go into work, would you be all right if I dropped you and Ella at Susan's?"

"Of course Elizabeth. We'll be fine. Won't we miss Ella?" I say. Ella nods excitedly.

"Okay. Thank you so much." She says, leaving the room again. I turn to Ella.

"You'd better put your shoes back on Missy, then we can be ready for Mom when she needs to go."

"Good idea!" Ella exclaims, and runs to pick her shoes up from beside the couch.

"Right then girls, are we ready to go?" Elizabeth asks.

"Yes!" Ella shouts.

"Yeah, I'm ready, but slowly okay?" I say, cautiously.

"Yes of course." So I drag myself off of the couch as slowly as is humanly possible. Elizabeth steady's me by holding my arm.

"Man those pain killers only work if you remain completely still." I say, making Elizabeth chuckle.

"Yes dear, I know. Give them some credit though, that was quite an injury." She says.

"Trust me, I know." She helps me out to the car, ensures Ella os strapped on properly and then drives us over to Susan's.

"Elizabeth, come on in." Susan says as she answers the door to us. "Make yourselves at home in the living room girls." She adds, so Elizabeth helps me onto the living room couch, says goodbye to Ella and turns back to me.

"If you have any troubles, tell Susan. Any abnormal pain, dizziness, nausea, speak to her okay?" She says.

"Yes, I'll tell her, I promise."

"All right, well, see you when my shift is over. Love you." She kisses my forehead.

"Love you too." I reply, watching her walk back out of the room. 'Man, if only dad could see us now.' I think to myself. 'He'd never believe it.'


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the reviews people ! Sorry, it was a little hard to update over the christmas period :)**

"Girls, I've made dinner. Come on through to the dining room." Susan says.

"Yay!" Ella shouts and bolts through. Susan and I laugh. I move to get off of the sofa, wincing a little as I do. "You need a hand?" Susan asks me. I just nod, feeling totally defeat. She comes over, takes my arm and helps me off of the sofa and through to the dining room.

"I feel like a moron." I say, as I sit down. Susan chuckles.

"Well you're not a moron, you're just sore. Nothing wrong with being sore." She replies.

"Rach! Susan's dinner is really good! Try it!" Ella exclaims excitedly.

"Oh really? Well, I must try it!" I have to admit, Ella wasn't lying. This is the best carbonara I've ever eaten. "Wow." I say, genuinely, making Susan chuckle.

"Well I'm glad you both like it. Your mom's coming to pick you both up in an hour. So eat up swiftly so that we can all get ready before she gets here." Susan says.

We finish dinner quickly and Susan helps me back to the living room with Ella.

"Okay, I'm just gonna get your things together, Elizabeth will be here any second okay?" Susan says.

"Okay." I reply. I watch her, mindlessly, as she floats around the room, gathering our things, putting Ella's shoes back on her feet and putting our coats on the couch next to us.

"All right. Thats everything right?"

"Yeah, I think thats everything." Just then, the doorbell rings. "That'll be Mom now."

"I'll let her in." Susan says, leaving the room.

"Right Ella, put your coat on sweetheart, Mom's here." I say to my sister. She nods, obeying me happily.

"Okay Rach."

"Hi girls." Elizabeth said, entering the living room just as Ella finished buttoning up her coat.

"Hey Mom." Ella and I chorused.

"Oh look at you, clever girl. You're all ready for me!" Elizabeth said, engulfing Ella in a cuddle.

"Yeah Mommy! I got ready all by myself!" Ella squealed, making us all laugh.

"Well, I'm very proud of you sweetie!" She turned to me then. "How are you feeling Rachel? Are you all right?" She asked, concerned.

"Yeah Mom, I'm all right. I mean, I'm sore, but I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Although, could you help me get my coat on, please?" I ask.

"Of course sweetie, come on, up you get." She helps me up off of the sofa, and slips my arms one by one into the sleeves of my coat.

"Right, ready to go then?" Elizabeth asks Ella and I.

"Yeah." I reply.

"Yes Mommy!" Ella shouts.

"Right then. Susan thank you so much for having them. I'm so sorry for springing that on you." Elizabeth says.

"Elizabeth, surely you know by now that its completely okay?"

"I know, I feel terrible though. Thank you."

"Its fine! Honestly. They're great!" Susan assures her.

"All right. See you at work okay?"

"Sure. See you." Susan says, as we head out the door. Elizabeth straps Ella in first, then helps me clamber in and drives us home.

"Right, I'm going to make a pot of tea, Rachel will you just keep an eye on her while I do that?" Elizabeth asks me.

"Sure I will."

"Thank you darling, I won't be long. Promise." She says.

"Chill, Ella's fine with me. Besides, she's only watching TV and you're only taking five to make a cuppa. I'll hardly struggle. Go on and make your tea." I say, giggling slightly. Her paranoia is funny sometimes.

"Okay. I'll just be a minute." She says, rushing through to the kitchen.

"Right miss Ella, what are we watching?" I ask my sister.

"Strawberry Shortcake!" She squeals, excitedly.

"My favourite!"

"Really!"

"Really! Come on, sit next to me and we'll watch it together." I say.

"Okay!" Ella comes running over and throws herself at the spot next to me on the sofa. I must admit, she hurt my stomach a little, but I really don't mind. I put my arm around her shoulders and she snuggles into me.

"I love you Rach." She says. That just about makes me cry. I lean down and place a kiss on her head.

"I love you too Ella." I look up to see Elizabeth standing in the door way, I guess she witnessed that because she's got tears in her eyes. I smile at her. She smiles back.

"Your Father would be so proud of both of you." She whispers. I feel the familiar choked up feeling in my throat.

"Thanks Mom. I think he'd be proud of all of us." She nods. I feel Ella leaning much heavier against me now and look down. "Wow, she's asleep already. Poor thing must have been exhausted."

"Thats all right, I'll take her upstairs. I'll only be a minute." She says.

"Okay."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone, this is more a filler chapter. My apologies. I lost a very close family member on new years day so wasn't really up for writing anymore, just thought I'd update what i had. Hope its actually okay.**

"Daddy!" Ella shouts, waking me up. "Daddy come back!" She continues. I throw the covers off of me and swing my legs out of the bed.

"Ella sh, its Rachel, I'm coming!" I call through to her as I pad, barefoot, towards her room. "Hey princess, whats up?" I say, soothingly, picking her up out of her bed.

"Daddy left me!" She wailed, her face covered in tears.

"Oh darling. Its okay. Sh, come on now its okay." I say, bouncing her gently on my hip.

"Its not okay! He left me!" She continued wailing into my shoulder. I am so not going to be able to fix this one. I wrap my hands around her more supportingly and carry her out onto the landing.

"Sh. Ella, Mommy's going to make this better, I promise."

"I want daddy!" She continued wailing. I knock Elizabeth's door softly and go in. She sits up quickly, rubs her eyes fiercely and switches on the bed side lamp.

"Rachel, Ella. What is it? What's happened?" She asks us, worriedly.

"Ella's had a nightmare." I say.

"Daddy left me Mommy!" Ella shouts, devastated.

"Oh." Elizabeth sighs. She holds her arms out to me so I carefully pass Ella to her.

"I'm gonna go make tea." I say, Elizabeth nods in response as she begins rocking Ella to calm her down. I'm no help here so I slip out of the room and head downstairs. The house is dark still so I flip on all the lights as I head to the kitchen to boil the kettle. I rub the sleep out of my eyes as I switch the kettle on. A quick check of the clock tells me its ten to three in the morning. Yikes. Tomorrow won't be fun. Elizabeth and I will both be exhausted and Ella will be extremely cranky. Yeah, great fun. Oh well. The kettle whistles, letting me know that its finished boiling. I take two mugs out of the cupboard and put tea bags in them. I watch the steam swirl up to the ceiling as I pour in the water. I think about poor Ella as it brews. Its so unfair that she's had to go through all of this at such a young age. I mean, its been so hard on all of us, but she's so young, she doesn't understand. She probably thinks Dad left intentionally. Poor girl, well, I guess she'll understand one day. I add the milk, dispose of the tea bags and carry the mugs back up to Elizabeth's room.

"Thank you Rachel." She whispers as I set the mug down on the bedside table. Ella has gone back to sleep and is curled up on the pillow next to Elizabeth.

"No problem." I gesture towards Ella. "She okay?" I ask, looking down at her tear stained face.

"For now. Ugh, its so hard trying to explain all of this to her. None of its fair!" Elizabeth sighs, exacerbated now.

"I know. It sucks. She'll understand one day though. It'll work itself out in the end Mom." I say, trying to be reassuring.

"Yeah, well, I wish we'd had a better chance at the start." She says, and then, completely unexpectedly, bursts into tears. I put my tea down and head round to her side of the bed.

"Mom?" I whisper, sitting down next to her and wrapping my arms around her shoulders. "Oh Mom please don't cry." I say, feeling quite emotional myself now.

"I'm sorry!" She sobs against me.

"Don't be. Hey, its okay. Sh, its okay." I say, I'm trying so hard to be reassuring.

"Its not okay though Rachel. He's not coming back." She looks up at me. I feel a few tears escape my eyes now.

"I know he's not." I whisper. Regret crosses Elizabeth's features.

"Oh Rachel I'm sorry." She wails, enveloping me in yet another hug.

"Its okay Mom. Its okay.


	10. Chapter 10

**I really hope no one minds the short chapters, I'm just finding writing a bit hard at the moment, what with everything thats happened. I hope people are actually enjoying this story. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be happy to take them on board. If you do like this story, please, do let me know in the reviews, its really, really nice to actually read what people are thinking about my work. To tell the truth. Its an odd story and I was scared to post it in case people hated it because it doesn't really follow the story of the show, or the personalities of the characters. Its how I wanted to see them act. I just hope its okay. Enjoy :)**

"Rachel its not okay, I should learn to be more considerate!" She says, reprimanding herself for nothing.

"What because I lost my dad and you're hurting because of it. Newsflash, but he was your husband too. We both lost him. We should be able to talk about it. And if we can't complain about it too each other, then who can we complain to. Trust me Mom, its okay. Healthy even. If we don't express our feelings then we're keeping them bottled up which is so much worse." I say, matter-of-factly.

"My God you've gotten so mature." She says, slowly.

"No, I woke up." I reply.

"Yes, but you equally grew up. I'm so proud of you Rachel. Mark would be so proud of you." I let the tears roll down my cheeks.

"I love you Mom." I say, thrusting myself at her and hugging her tightly.

"I love you too."

"I miss him so much." I whisper to her.

"I know sweetie, trust me I know, I miss him too."

"They said we'd heal in time, but I don't think thats happening. Time hasn't made anything better, its just making it worse. Think about it," I wail through my tears, "in time, he'll miss me graduating high school, he'll miss Ella going into Kindergarten, Miss my first day at college, he'll miss both of our first degree's, he'll miss her first date, her first kiss, he'll miss both of our weddings, he'll miss the births of any children we have... Time is just going to highlight everything he's not here for. Time is making it worse!" I'm sobbing now. My chest is shuddering in Elizabeth's arms. I can feel her own hot tears against my cheek. She trails her hand through my hair and rubs my back in an attempt to sooth me. But, deep down, both of us know, none of its going to work, because Dad's not coming back, and everything I've just said is true. And we've both known it and been feeling it for a long time, I'm just the first to dare to say it.

"I know sweetheart, I know." Elizabeth is saying, over and over again. Because, there is nothing to say. Nothing to make it all go away. She knows it and I know it. We stay there crying against each other for ages. Eventually, we slip under the covers and We fall asleep with Ella snoring contently in between us. Still, Elizabeth reaches a hand over and continues gently rubbing my hair until exhaustion finally conquers both of us. I sleep happily, contentedly, and night mare free for the first time since I arrived here the day birth-mom abandoned me.

I wake up to find Elizabeth and Ella are no longer in the bed next to me. I hear them bustling around downstairs, so I throw the covers off of my legs and head on downstairs too.

"Morning." Elizabeth greets me.

"Morning. Sleep well?" I ask, fully aware that all three of us had a pretty rough night last night, but the last few hours were great.

"Exquisitely." She says, and then adds, "In the end." I smile at her. "How about you?" She asks in return. I start grinning and then foolishly, without thinking, blurt out,

"Amazingly! I didn't have any nightmares last night!" I watch scared as Elizabeth smiles and then, in realisation, lets her face fall.

"You're still having nightmares?" She asks, sounding a bit offended and sad.

"W-well yeah. But, they're manageable..." I say. It's the most unconvincing lie I've ever heard, and the worst thing is, I'm the idiot that said it.

"You're not a very good liar Rachel. How often are you still having these nightmares. And please, don't lie. For goodness sakes let me help you." She says.

"Um, well. It's kind of an every night thing. I.. I didn't tell you because we were all so happy. I didn't want to ruin that by making you all worried about me again." I say quietly. She sighs.

"Rachel, I'm going to be 'all worried about you' for a long time. I'm your Mum. Thats my role. You have to let me help you with these things. Please! Let me be a support for you!" Shw insists.

"But Mom, you don't get it yet. You already are a support, you already help me. I feel so loved and safe here, the nightmares are getting so much less scary. Yeah sure, I still have them, but, thanks to you, I can wake up and tell myself that I don't have to be scared of my past, that I'm stronger than that. Don't you see that!" I say.

"Oh Rachel. Sweetie I know. I just want you to feel like you can tell me things and I will help you." I smile.

"I know that Mom. I know that." She comes over and hugs me, strokes my hair again soothingly and kisses the top of my head.

"You're wise beyond your years Rachel." She says, I shake my head.

"No, I'm just lucky to have such a clever and supporting Mom, that stuff rubs of on you you know." Elizabeth laughs.

"Too right!" She says, sarcastically, laughing. I laugh too. Man, I've never felt happier.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey folks. Another short one. Thank you so much for the review, I hope this is sort of what you were after. This won't be the end of Jen coming back, I'm gonna try to drag this particular event out and make it into something (not entirely sure what yet, so this could be interesting). Please keep reading and reviewing. Thanks everyone.

The three of us are just having a really lazy day. Ella and I are snuggled up on the lounge with a blanket, watching the Lion King. Elizabeth has gone upstairs to sort the ironing, well, Ella and I are having a lazy day, Elizabeth, not so much. The door bell rings. I wait a moment and listen for Elizabeth suddenly moving around upstairs, nothing happens, so I assume she hasn't heard and get up to go answer it myself. As I'm walking down the hallway towards the door, I peer through the glass to see who is there and, oh dear holy God its her! I scream loudly and run. I run upstairs, into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I hear Elizabeth's desperate cries of,

"Rachel, what's the matter?" But I can't answer her. I just slide down the wall, face buried in my hands struggling to breath. God dammit, hasn't she put me through enough. She's still ringing the door. Over and over. I can hear Ella shouting upstairs,

"Mummy somebody's here!" I hear Elizabeth head down to figure out what the hec has happened. I listen as the door swings open and birth-mom starts yelling. She wants me to go back with her! As if! She's screaming at Elizabeth. Elizabeth is screaming back, something about leaving this house and leaving her daughters alone or she'll call the cops. There's more shouting, birth-mom yelling that I'm not her daughter, Elizabeth retaliating swiftly with the underlying issue, that she's the one that signed me over. The yelling goes on and on for what seems like an eternity. It hurts! It hurts me so bad. Its almost as though I can feel all the hurt, the sadness, the anger and sheer hatred, that that woman caused me to feel, all boiling up inside all at once. I can physically feel it in my chest. Quickly, and only just in time, I get over to the toilet and empty the contents of my stomach into it. I'm shaking, and crying and I'm still not breathing properly, and there's only one person that'll make it all go away. But she's busy doing what she can to get rid of her. So I'm on my own here. I lie down in the middle of the bathroom floor, panting and heaving. Its horrible. My head is spinning, I can't see for tears. I need help. I startle as the front door is slammed shut. I can hear Ella crying and begging Elizabeth to tell her who that scary lady was. I hear Elizabeth's rushed words of comfort as she hurries up the stairs and over to the bathroom door.

"Rachel? Sweetheart she's gone." She says. "Come on sweetheart you can come out now." She says, somewhat encouragingly. I try to speak, but my voice fails me. I all but choke out the words,

"I can't."

*Elizabeth's P.O.V*

I sigh as I place Ella down on the floor in front of the bathroom door. Poor thing still has tears in her eyes from earlier on.

"Stay there Ella, okay?" She nods, so I head into my bedroom and take a coin out of my purse, I then go bak to the bathroom door, slide the coin into the groove in the lock and use it to open the door. Its the smell of sick that hits me first. Then the sight of Rachel, lying, sobbing her heart out in the middle of the bathroom floor.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry." I say, sitting down next to her. I place a hand on her back to sooth her. Ella comes in and sits on my other side, she cuddles in to me, my other hand wraps around her, equally soothingly. Rachel turns her head and looks at me, her big eyes red from crying.

"Why?" She whispers.

"I don't know sweetheart. I really don't don't know." I say, my heart breaking for her.

"I do. She just can't let me be happy, she enjoys making me miserable." She says, sitting up. "Well, I'm not gonna let her win. Can we go do something fun?" She asks, wiping her eyes violently. I smile at her.

"Of course we can." She smiles too. "Come on Ella, Rachel wants to do something fun, so thats what we're going to do." She stands up excitedly.

"Really Mommy?" Rachel and I giggle at her sudden change of mood.

"Yes sweetie, really."


	12. Chapter 12

**Right folks, this one's still from Elizabeths point of view. Enjoy. Hope its up to standards haha, leave me a review and let me know what you're thinking :) really appreciate it :) Thanks so much everyone!**

"Right, shall we go to Pizza Hut or KFC for dinner?" I ask the girls.

"Pizza Mommy!" Ella exclaims.

"Is that all right with you Rachel?"

"Yeah, pizza sounds a lot more vegetarian friendly than KFC. I'm in." She replies.

"Well then, Pizza Hut it is." Getting the girls ready and getting out to Pizza Hut was surprisingly easy, especially considering what had just happened. I wish Mark had been here to see that. The nerve of that woman, has she not done enough? I shake the thoughts from my mind, push open the doors to the restaurant and ask the nearest employee for a table for three. This tugs at my heart strings a little, I feel empty not asking for a table for four. My emotions must be obvious because Rachel places a supporting hand on my back. She doesn't say anything but, silently, we both understand each other. The employee smiles and leads us to a booth at the back. I pick Ella up and follow her. A near by waitress, helpfully, pulls over a high-chair for Ella, I smile, genuinely grateful, place Ella into it, and then Rachel and I slide into the booth.

"Mom?" Rachel just about whispers.

"Yes?" I reply, smiling at her.

"I love you." She says. My heart melts.

"Oh Rachel, I love you too." I reply, reaching over and touching her hand. With my other hand I reach over and stroke Ella's hair. "And I love you miss Ella." I say, making her giggle.

"I love you too Mommy!" She exclaims in response.

"Your Daddy would be so proud of both of you."

"Daddy." Ella says happily.

"I hope so." Rachel adds.

"Hey," I say, taking her chin. "He would be." She smiles.

"Well isn't that nice. Everyone's playing happy families. How sweet." Says an extremely sarcastic and familiar voice from behind us. Rachel and I both freeze. "Well what about me. Oh don't worry, I'm no one important. I only gave birth to you, after all." She sneers at Rachel.

"What are you doing here? How did you even find us?" I say, standing. By now, the whole restaurant is staring at us. Rachel has removed Ella from the high chair and is holding on to her protectively.

"I chipped her phone when _I_ bought it for her."

"You had no right!" Rachel shouts.

"I won't ask you again, what are you doing here?" I say, annunciating every word through my gritted teeth. I'm seething.

"I've come for _my_ daughter."

"I'M NOT YOUR DAUGHTER! YOU DECIDED THAT WHEN YOU KICKED ME OUT! YOU COMPOUNDED THAT WHEN YOU HAD YOUR FREAK HUSBAND PLANT A BULLET IN MY ABDOMEN A MONTH AGO!" Rachel screams, she begins to storm off, with Ella, but she stops and turns around and adds. "By the way, thats healing nicely, thanks for asking." Before storming the rest of the way out to the car. I turn back to Jen, there are tears in her eyes.

"Save the crocodile tears for someone who cares. Now, are you going to leave _my_ family in peace or do I need to get a restraining order, hmm?" I say, sweetly but deadly. She wipes at her eyes, viciously.

"No, I'm going. Have a nice life with _my_ daughter." And with that she storms off. Everyone in the restaurant is still staring at me.

"Don't you all have dinners to eat!" I shout, exacerbated, and head out to the car to find Rachel. I find her stomping, hard, on her broken battered mobile. She's crying hysterically. I put both hands on her shoulders and stare straight into her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey. Its all right. Rachel its all right." She stops battering her mobile and looks up into my face. If its even possible, she begins to cry harder and thrusts herself at me, still holding Ella resulting in Ella becoming slightly squished between us.

"I'm here. Okay? She's gone sweetheart, and I'm here for you." She nods against my chest.

"Can we go someplace else?" She asks quietly.

"Of course we can." I kiss both Ella and Rachel on the head. "Lets go." I get them both back into the car and drive off to another Pizza Hut, much further, but hey, both of my daughters are happy, so I couldn't care less.

I pull the covers up around my youngest daughter's neck and lean in to kiss her goodnight.

"Goodnight my beautiful girl."

"Goodnight Mommy." She says, mid-yawn. "I love you."

"I love you too." I say before stroking her hair one last time, getting up, switching off her lights and heading back down to the living room. Rachel is curled up on the end of the sofa.

"I made us tea." She says. Thats when I notice the cup she's holding, and another one sitting on the coffee table waiting on me.

"Thank you." I say, also sitting on the sofa, at the opposite end to Rachel.

"Do you think he can see us?" She asks suddenly, causing my stomach to just about turn inside out.

"Um... Yes. Yes I think he can." I reply.

"So do you think he knows I've changed? And that he's not angry anymore? That he doesn't hate me anymore?" She whispers.

"Rachel, listen to me. Of course he knows you've changed. And I guarantee he's delighted. You've made a remarkable process and you fill me with pride every day, and your dad too. Of course he's not angry, and I promise he never hated you."

"I bet he did. I drank, smoked, and was so involved in drugs that I nearly killed his favourite daughter." My heart sinks.

"Rachel, he never had a 'favourite daughter', he loved you both equally, trust me, I know. And of course he was upset about all of that, he was so sad at the thought of you deliberately hurting yourself. Because he loved you. He talked to me about it all of the time. I promise, everything he did and said was out of love. And yes, Ella was hurt in the process of all of that, but we've forgiven you for that, we've moved on." I have tears in my eyes, so does Rachel.

"You mean that?"

"Of course I do." She sets he tea down on the coffee table and lies down, putting her head on my lap.

"I know I've said it like a hundred times, even just today, but I love you so much. I'm so sorry I ever treated you badly, I'm so sorry." She says, sobbing.

"Rachel, its okay, I forgive you, and I love you so much too."

"I know. I just can't believe how much that that's true. You make me feel so happy, you and Ella. Thank you."

"You're welcome sweetie." I say, stroking her hair.

"I'm gonna go to bed now. Goodnight Mom." She says, leaning up and kissing my cheek. "Goodnight sweetie." With that, she heads up to bed. I watch television for about half an hour before going to bed myself. I as I lie my head down on the pillow, I can't seem to get my mind off of everything thats happened today. Just when I thought she was really making progress, getting better properly, Jen shows up and ruins it all. It makes me sick.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey folks, this is a wee filler chapter. I hope people like it :) please keep reviewing, it helps me to continue writing. Thanks everyone :)**

"Elizabeth!" I hear from behind for about the millionth time in the last hour. I can't even be bothered to find out who it is or what they want. "Elizabeth, are you free for a consult?" I turn on the spot. Its Chen.

"No I'm not. Page someone else." I say, sounding more aggressive, and more English, than I had meant to.

"There is no one else!" She says, excacerbated.

"Chen. My daughters are at home waiting on me. The babysitter's mad because I'm already two hours late for her. I haven't slept for three days and I haven't eaten since yesterday. I'm not free, I'm going home." She nods.

"Okay." I put a tired hand on my blazing forehead as I walk away. I step into the crowded elevator and sigh.

"Long day?" Some random patient asks.

"You don't know the half of it." He laughs.

"Well, maybe you'll have a better night." He replies. I smile at him as I step out onto the surgical ward. Various staff members greet me as I walk down the corridor towards my office. I barely have the energy to greet them back. I'm glad of the privacy of my office for the minute, so I drop myself down on the chair and rest my head on it.

"God I need a holiday." I say to myself. But thats just it. Thats exactly what I do need. Its been years since I got away. I get up almost immediately, throw my things into by bag, grab my coat and head straight to Romano's office.

"Lizzie, there's this marvellous concept here in the states, it centres around _'knocking'_ . I'm not sure that this ancient art is practiced in England, but this is America." I sigh.

"Robert shut up!" God he infuriates me.

"Ouch. That hurt. What can I do for you Lizzie?" I hate him sometimes.

"I need three weeks off."

"What?"

"I need three weeks off. I haven't had a holiday since Mark died. I'm exhausted. Working double the hours I can actually handle and anyway I'm owed the time, I..."

"Lizzie stop talking!" He cuts me off.

"What?"

"You can have the three weeks. Starting monday if you really want. Frankly, I'm sick of being told by my staff how tired you look, and reprimanded by my inferiors for working you too hard. Take the time." I gasp.

"Seriously?"

"Don't look so surprised, just take me up on the damn offer before I change my mind."

"Thank you Robert."

"You're welcome Lizzie." I leave the office feeling a little shell shocked. I really didn't think he'd give in so easily. Oh well.

I head home quickly, pay the babysitter and set the girls up with a movie in the living room before heading up to the office, logging on to the computer and booking flights. Once its all confirmed, I head back to the living room and pause their dvd.

"Girls, I want to talk to you." I say. They both shuffle around on the sofa a bit so that they're facing me properly.

"What's up Mom?" Rachel asks, I can hear concern in her voice.

"Nothing!" I say, a little to quickly. She furrows her brow in disbelief. "No, I mean nothing bad. We're going on holiday." The too of them gasp. Rachel looks incredibly shocked but delighted, and Ella's elation sends her up as high as a kite.

"Really Mommy!" Ella squeals.

"Yes Ella really." She leaps off of the sofa and comes over to hug me.

"Where are we going?" Rachel asks.

"England. We're going to England."

"Grandma and Grandad!" Ella exclaims.

"Yes Ella, thats right. But we're not going to tell them we're coming. We'll surprise them!" I tell her, grinning like the cheshire cat.

"I've never been to Britain." Rachel says.

"Well, I certainly know my way about. I promise you that we'll make it memorable. I can show you where I grew up." I say, Rachel nods. "Right, you two should get to bed, we have a long day of packing ahead of us, our flights leave at 11:55pm tomorrow night and we'll be in Heathrow on Monday." They both nod excitedly. Rachel takes Ella off of me.

"Come on miss Ella, lets get to bed." Ella yawns and nods against Rachel. I kiss the, both goodnight, then, about an hour later, head to bed myself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey folks, super short chapter here. Its just a filler chapter. My apologies. Let me know what you're thinking about the whole holiday idea. Heads up, I'm Scottish. I have been to England a million and ten times, but never to london. I apologise in advance for anything i say that is wrong. Hope you all enjoy :) please r&r Aimée x**

**Rachel's P.O.V**

I'm sitting on the flight to London with Elizabeth and Ella. Ella, obviously, wanted the window seat, and Elizabeth had to be next to her, so I'm in the isle. Little do they know, I'm petrified of flying.

"Mommy look, theres another air-y-plane!" Ella squeals, she's so excited to go flying.

"Yes Ella, thats full of other people going on their holidays too."

"Rachel, did you see the air-y-plane?" She asks, staring at me with wide, interested eyes. I flash her a weak smile and nod.

"I saw it Ella." A short while later, the captain gives the usual warning, and the plane lurches forward. I try to concentrate to the safety demonstration that the air-hostesses are giving, but its really difficult as the plane just keeps getting faster and faster and faster. I grip onto the arm rests so tightly that my knuckles are completely white I can hear Ella giggling excitedly. I suck on my chewing gum prepared for whats coming next. I gasp, relatively loudly, as the plane is pulled upwards. Elizabeth's hand reaches my own, so I let go of the arm rest and grip tightly onto her instead. I bury my face into her shoulder to avoid her catching the scared tears that have taken residence in my eyes.

"Rachel, its all right. Sweetheart its all right." Elizabeth keeps saying over and over again. Ella catches on too because she puts a hand on my shoulder and says.

"Don't be scared, we're flying!" I force myself to smile for her.

"Yeah, I guess we are." I say. Elizabeth smiles and puts an arm round me.

"I'm proud of you." She whispers and kisses my head.

*insert break line here*

"All right Rachel, I need you to stand here and hold Ella with the hand Luggage whilst I collect the suitcases from the luggage carousel, okay?" I nod.

"Sure. See you in a bit." I reply, she nods and heads off for the luggage. "Are you excited Ella? We're in England!" I say, bouncing her around on my hip.

"Yeah! Gramma and Granda!" She squeals.

"Thats right! Isn't that exciting!" I say, in a very over exaggerated tone.

"Yes!" She exclaims. To tell the truth, I'm petrified of meeting Elizabeth's parents, I'm not exactly a normal kid. Oh well.

"Right, thats us." Elizabeth announces as she walks towards us, pushing a luggage cart. "We just have to get through customs now." I place Ella on top of a suitcase on the luggage cart and grab a hold of the hand luggage.

"Well then, lets get going." I say, so we do.

*insert break line here*

"Oh my gosh!" I explain as we step out of the airport.

"What is it?" Elizabeth asks me.

"We're in London!" I reply, excitedly. Elizabeth smiles widely.

"I know." She puts a hand out to hail a cab.

"Wow, London really does have weird cabs." I say, frowning at it. Elizabeth laughs.

"Rachel, this is a taxi. A London taxi." She says.

"Silly Rachel." Ella adds, I shrug.

"Its still a cab to me. Its just weird. The driver helps Elizabeth get the luggage into the cab and then we clamber in.

"Where to?" The cabbie asks. Elizabeth gives him the address of our hotel and he heads off. The hotel was about half an hour away, but the drive was enjoyable. I spent the whole drive looking out of the window and marvelling at how different England is. In fact, I barely even notice that we've stopped when we reach the hotel.

"Come on girls, this is us." I hear Elizabeth saying. She pays the driver and then he helps us get our luggage out and on to a hotel luggage trolly. She tips the cab driver and then a near by bell-hop leads us to the desk to check in. Its no time at all before we're settled into our suite. Ella falls asleep almost immediately. Elizabeth heads to the kitchen to make tea.

"Would you like one?" She asks me, in a very, very, very English accent.

"Woah, Mom, you've been here like five minutes and your accent sounds as though you never left!" She laughs.

"You can tease me now, but you wait until the Londoners hear your accent. British people survive with two basic things, sarcasm and tea, you wait and see. Speaking of tea, yay or nay?" I smile at her.

"Definitely yay." She laughs.

"Ah, its affected you already!" She says, making me laugh.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey folks, just a quick update here. Just watched the first few episodes of series 11 again. Seen it a million times, and yet, Corday's departure never fails to cause tears. Ah I lead such a sad life. Oh well, enjoy this update which I've written at 12:36am (so sorry for any spelling mistakes) to distract myself from the sheer sadness that is, my life haha. Enjoy :) Aimée**

Sleeping the first night was ridiculously difficult. I eventually got up and took an extra drowsy anti-histamine just to try and sleep, I knew staying awake would make it worse. Either way, its six am now and I'm awake. Excellent. I walk through to the kitchen in our suite, only to discover Elizabeth is awake too.

"Morning." She says.

"Morning."

"Tea?" I nod. "Ah, thought so."

"Yeah, I need some caffeine, this jet lag is a killer." She nods.

"I know it is." She replies. "Did you sleep well?"

"Uh, not exactly." I take the packet of polaramine out of my pocket and wave it at her.

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm seriously on American time." She smiles and hands me a mug of tea.

"Here. Drink that and come and watch telly with me." She says. I nod and follow her. After a while of flicking through the channels, she settles on a British medical drama (how typical) called _Casualty_. It is completely different to the ER at County. So, so, completely different. This pretend ER is way too relaxed to even consider being real.

A couple of hours have passed. We're all up, showered, dressed and ready to leave the hotel.

"So, where are we going?" I ask Elizabeth.

"We're going to my father's hospital." She tells me.

"We're going to see Granda!" Ella confirms in delight.

"Yes we are darling." Elizabeth tells her. I swear, Ella's smiling so wide that the corners of her mouth are actually touching her ears. "Well, thats everything sorted. Lets get going." Elizabeth says, picking up her hand bag. I nod.

"Mommy, can you carry me?" Ella says. She looks absolutely exhausted.

"Of course sweetheart, come here." She hoists Ella up onto her hip and turns to me.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

"Off we go then." We all trudge down to the lobby and head to outside to hail a cab. Elizabeth tells him the address of the hospital and we head off. Just like I did yesterday, I spend the whole drive staring out of the window, trying to take in as much of England as I possibly can. I must say, I got a rather good look at Big Ben before we reached the hospital. By the time we've all gotten out of the cab, my stomach is turning. My insides are doing back flips. I've never met Elizabeth's parents, and I'm not so sure they could have that high an opinion of me seeing as I almost killed their only Granddaughter. Mm, yeah, off to a really great start.

"Rachel stop it." I hear Elizabeth say.

"Stop what?" I reply, attempting to feign innocence. Trouble is, this woman can read me like a book.

"Stop worrying. My father is not a devil and I can assure you, his opinion of you will be based on the here and now." I just nod. "I mean it, stop the worrying. I love you and Ella adores you, I assure you, Father will recognise that immediately. Besides, even if he didn't, you've got that to fall back on."

"Okay." We enter the hospital and Elizabeth leads us through an endless maze of corridors and elevators until we reach her dad's office. She stalks straight past his assistant and through his office door without even bothering to knock. Gotta admit, she's pretty darn cool sometimes.

"Lizzie!" Her dad exclaims, getting up out of his chair to come and greet us. I sort of lurk by the door. "You're in England!" He points out, making Elizabeth laugh.

"Well yes, gosh it appears I am! How are you Father?" She asks him, as he takes Ella out of her arms.

"Granda!" She squeals.

"I'm absolutely radiant now that my precious Granddaughter is back in my company!" He states, swinging Ella around in glee. She squeals and laughs in delight.

"Good to hear. Father, Rachel is hear too. You know Rachel." She says. I look up at him then, and he, me.

"Yes. Only from what you've told me. Its a pleasure to finally meet you Rachel." He says, though its not exactly sincere. No matter, I did expect hostility.

"You too." I reply.

"Well, would anyone care for a cup of tea?" He asks us.

"Love one." Elizabeth replies swiftly. "What about you Rachel?" She asks me.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks." I stammer.

"Relax." Elizabeth mouths at me. I flash her a weak smile.

"So, Lizzie, what brings you hear?" Her father asks, continuing the conversation as he prepares the tea with one hand, whilst balancing Ella with the other.

"A desperate need for a holiday. And anyway, Ella missed you and I figured it was time you met Rachel seeing as, well, I've adopted her." He startles.

"Sorry? You've what?" He says.

"I've adopted Rachel. She lives with Ella and I full time now. I figured it was only fair that she got to actually meet her Grandparents." Elizabeth replies. Oh, if the ground could open up right about now and swallow me whole, that'd be great.

"Well, uh, that is big news." Her Father says.

"Indeed it is." He hands out the tea's, he even attempts a smile to smile at me as I accept mine.

"Well, this is certainly a lovely surprise. Does your Mother know you're here?" He asks. Elizabeth shakes her head.

"No. I got permission to take time off two days ago and I just booked the flights. I told no one. I hope its not a bother." She says.

"No of course not! Its a lovely surprise! And I'm rather glad you came to me first." He says, Elizabeth frowns.

"Now Father, don't you start. I've only been in the country for five minutes. I'm not going to out up with you and Mother quarrelling, especially when I've pretty much just stepped off of the plane."

"All right, all right, calm yourself." He says, laughing. "Oh Lizzie, Ella's fallen asleep on my shoulder, is it all right to just let her sleep?" He asks.

"Yes Father."

"So, Rachel, how are you?" He asks, attempting to include me in their conversation.

"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?"

"Simply marvellous." He smiles. "Now, what do you all say I book us a table at my favourite restaurant and treat you all to lunch?" Elizabeth smiles appreciatively.

"That would be wonderful Father."

"Sounds good to me too." I tell him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks heaps for the reviews everyone. Btw I'm really struggling with the rest of series 11 too. I literally just want to jump ahead to the two episodes in series 15 and otherwise just watch the previous seasons. Oh well. Hope you's enjoy this chapter. Aimée**

"So, when do you plan on telling your mother that you're here?" Elizabeth's Dad asks as we finish our lunch.

"Oh, um, whenever really. I'm not sure. I don't know when she'll be free." Elizabeth says. I smirk a little to myself, sounds like she's not a huge fan of her mother either.

"Well have you tried calling her?" Her Dad continues.

"No, not yet. I will though. Ella's dying to see her, and, to tell you the truth, I have missed you both. Its been quite a while since I've seen you." She says.

"So call her. Tell her you're here. I'm sure she'll make time for you."

"All right."

"Well Lizzie, my dear, its been a true pleasure to see you, but I must be off, that hospital won't run itself you know." He says, getting up to leave. Elizabeth stands too. She kisses his cheek quickly before answering him.

"Oh I know. See you later?" She asks.

"Of course. Call me, we'll make a date."

"All right Father. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Lizzie." And with that, he leaves and Elizabeth sits back down.

"So, what do you think?" She asks me.

"You're very like him in lots of ways, and yet, completely different at the same time." She laughs heartily.

"Oh don't I know it." I smile at her. "My parents and I have a strange relationship." She shrugs. "Don't get me wrong, I love them both dearly, just, in small doses." I laugh at her.

"I'm sure you do. Well, your Dad's lovely."

"Thank you."

"Uh, is it good for Ella to be sleeping like this, won't she be up all night now?" I ask Elizabeth.

"Well yes, but I'll manage. I'll probably give her a spoonful of nigh-time pain-stop. Then she'll sleep the night and stay awake all day tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Right, why don't we go for a walk?" Elizabeth suggests. I smile at her.

"That would be lovely." So Elizabeth raises her hand and a near by waitress comes by our table.

"Could I have the bill please?" She asks.

"Oh, Dr. Corday already took care of that."

"Oh, all right then, thank you."

"You're welcome." The waitress says and walks away.

"Well, lets get going then." We get up and sort ourselves out, Elizabeth takes hold of Ella's pram and we leave the restaurant.

"Right Rachel, what in London would you most like to see?" She asks me.

"I don't know Mom, I just want to see as much of it as I possibly can." I reply.

"Well, we best get started then, lets go get a closer look at Big Ben, and then, if you'd like, we can go past Buckingham Palace."

"I'd love that."

"Would you like a cup of tea Mom?" I ask as we walk in the door of our hotel suite.

"Oh Rachel I'd absolutely love one. Thank you." She replies.

"All right, two seconds okay?"

"Okay sweetheart. I'm just going to go put Ella in her bed."

"Okay." I go into my own world a bit as I float around the kitchen making the tea. I don't even notice Elizabeth come back into the room.

"Thanks for this." She says, snapping me out of my trance.

"Oh, no problem." We both take our mugs and sit down.

"Right, I was thinking, seeing as you've never been to Britain before, we should see as much of it as we can. If you'd like, we can take the train up to Scotland and spend the weekend there so that you can see it too, and then come back down here." She says.

"You can do that?" I ask.

"Of course you can. The train from Houston station goes straight to Glasgow Central. I mean, I haven't done it for a long while but its definitely possible."

"That sounds cool." I say.

"Well, we'll do that then. Let you see Scotland for the weekend."

"All right." We sit in silence for a little while. "So whats the deal with your mom then?" I ask her.

"What do you mean?"

"How come you're so hesitant to tell her that you're here?" Realisation crosses her features.

"Oh. Well, I love my Mother Rachel. I really do, but she can be a real handful. Trust me." She says.

"Do you get along well with her?" I ask.

"Most of the time. Remember, my Mother and I were never really that close. I attended boarding school so there were long periods of time where I never saw her, its hard to build a strong relationship in a situation like that."

"That makes sense." I say, and it does.

"I should probably call her." She says.

"Probably." I reply.

"Yes, I need to call her. Hold on a minute Rachel." So she grabs the phone and heads through to the living area. I sit in peace for a while, just sipping my tea and nibbling on a Cadburys dairy milk bar. Elizabeth is on the phone for a while. I laugh a bit to myself because the conversation keeps going from polite and happy to polite but harsh, right back to polite and happy again, gosh its hilarious. She's on the phone fifteen minutes before she comes back into the kitchen.

"We're having dinner with my mother." She says.

"Tonight?" I ask.

"Apparently."

"She's aware Ella won't be worth a button right?" I ask, not meaning to sound skeptical, but its the truth, she's slept most of the day.

"Yes, I explained that. But if we have time to meet my father then we have time to meet her." I laugh as she sarcastically repeats her mother's argument to me.

"All right then, I'm going to go shower then, get ready to go out." I say.

"Okay, see you in a bit."


	17. Chapter 17

**Finally got enough motivation up to type a new chapter haha. Sorry it took so long. Hope its decent haha, enjoy :) Aimée**

"You're up early." Elizabeth says from behind me.

"Yeah. I woke up and I couldn't get back to sleep." I reply, turning around to face her.

"What time was this?" She asks, yawning.

"Five-ish. Not too bad I suppose. There's tea in the pot by the way."

"Oh, thank you." She leaves to go pour herself a cuppa so I turn back to my diary to finish the entry I was in the middle of.

"What are you up to?" Elizabeth asks as she comes back into the room.

"Oh, I was just writing in this old thing." I say, palming her off with a quick wave of the book.

"Positive entry I hope?" She asks. I know too well what she's implying.

"It was actually." I say. I stuff the old battered book back into my bag. "How come you're up so early?" I ask her.

"Same reason, I woke up and found I couldn't sleep again. But I only woke up ten minutes ago, not two hours ago like some people." She says, raising her eyebrows at me and giving me that "you know exactly who I'm talking about" face.

"Oh ha ha. Its been what, two days. I'm still on American time." I smile at her. "And on top of that, antihistamines don't tend to last the whole night."

"I know."

"What are we doing today?" I ask her.

"We're meeting my Mother for lunch." She says in a voice that sings 'oh what a joy', and not in a kind way.

"Oh be nice. It has been nearly three years since she last saw you. Give the poor woman some slack." I say, laughing at her.

"Mmm, yes, be sure to remind me to throw that face back in your face at the end of this trip, see if your opinion on the matter has changed." She replies, laughing just as much as me. "Right, we're meeting mother in three hours. I'm off to shower, I'll let you know when I'm done and then you can go for yours. Just because someone needs to be available in case Ella wakes. If she doesn't, I'll get her up when I'm done all right?" She says.

"Sure. See you in a bit." I say, then, too my surprise, she comes over and kisses my head before going through to her room to get ready. I guess that shouldn't really surprise me anymore. Not really. I mean, we've actually gotten so close.

So we've finally managed to get ourselves and Ella dressed and ready go and man that was not easy. Trust me.

"Right, is that everything now?" Elizabeth asks, totally flustered. She frustratedly pulls the stray curls out of her eyes and looks up at me.

"I think thats everything now."

"Me too mommy." Ella says from my shoulder.

"Right then, lets get out of here before we're late." She says. So, we all pile out of the hotel and into a cab. He gets us ti the restaurant in minutes, and yet, when we get there, we find Elizabeth's Mom beat us anyway.

"Early is on time Elizabeth." She says as we get to the table. Even I roll my eyes at that.

"Yes well, you didn't have a three year old to dress. By the way, nice to see you too Mother." Elizabeth says. I chuckle to myself.

"I suppose so. How are you Elizabeth?" She asks.

"I'm fine mother."

"Ella is looking absolutely fantastic!" She says.

"Granma!" Ella exclaims, reaching out to her. I hand her over to her grandmother.

"Thank you." She says to me, and then, on a second look adds, "and who are you?" My shoulders drop a little.

"Mother, don't you remember Rachel?" Elizabeth asks.

"Rachel? Marks daughter Rachel? Thats you?" She says.

"Yeah. Thats me. Hi."

"Hi. You've grown up quite a bit dear." She says.

"Thanks."

"Now, at the risk of sounding rude, and, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here Rachel?" She asks.

"She's with us obviously Mother."

"Why thank you Elizabeth, I certainly couldn't work that one out by myself." She says very sarcastically. I'm beginning to understand Elizabeth now.

"No Mother, I mean she is with us permanently."

"Permanently?"

"Yes, permanently, I've adopted her." She stands in a shocked silence for ages.

"Um, maybe we should sit down?" I say, seeing as we're standing around the table.

"Good idea Rachel." Elizabeth and I do exactly that. Eventually, her Mother sets Ella in her high chair and joins us, almost completely robotically.

"Well... Thats, thats nice. Um, what happened to her mother?" She asks. I sigh.

"I"m right here you know, you don't have to talk to Elizabeth about me as if you can't just turn around and speak to me. I'm not poison and I won't bite you know." Elizabeth laughs.

"Well said Rachel." She says

"Elizabeth. How can you support that level of cheek?" Her mother asks, shocked.

"It was well merited."

"By the way, my mom left while I was at school. She cleared out the house. She left enough money thatI got a flight to Chicago and went to Elizabeth. Oh, and she had her husband shoot me, yeah, that was fun. Elizabeth's given me a loving home and an amazing family and I get to see my sister everyday. Thats what happened." I say.

"Well, thats um... Quite the story." She says. "Well, its er, good to see you Rachel."

"Thanks. You too."

"So, Mother, how've you been keeping?" Elizabeth asks, thankfully, changing the subject.

"I've been well actually. How are you?"

"I'm good too. We've been busy, mind you, but we've been good. Mother I'm happy."

"You may well think I'm lying Elizabeth, but I'm glad to hear that."

"I don't think you're lying mother." Her mom laughs sarcastically

"Oh, well that'll be a first." She says.

"Mother stop it."

"Are you ready to order?" Asks a near by waitress. I'm actually so glad of her intervention.

"Oh gosh, I haven't even looked at the menu yet."

"Me neither, can we just order drinks just now and order the food in a few minutes?" I say.

"Sure, no problem."

After that, lunch ran relatively smoothly. In fact, it was rather enjoyable.

"Well Mother, we're off to pack our suitcases. We're taking the train to Scotland tomorrow. I'll see you next week." Elizabeth says, kissing her mother on the cheek.

"Yes, I'd like that, call me and we'll set something up."

"Will do."

"Ella, Grandma will see you soon! I love you darling." She says, cuddling Ella.

"Love you too Granma!" Ella says.

"Goodbye Rachel." My head snaps up.

"Oh, um, yes, goodbye." I say, and with one last wave at Elizabeth, she leaves the Restaurant. After sorting ourselves out, we do the same. We catch a cab back yo the hotel and actually start packing for Scotland.


End file.
